A Letter to my children...





I know you already remember very little about your father....I have to write this down tonight while it's still fresh in my memory..Each one of you were special and had a place in your father's heart......





Davis-


Our first born., your Daddy loved playing basketball and golf with you.. He loved taking you to doctors office and to work with him and strolling you while walking our dog Marley. Your Daddy loved to read to you-I credit alot of your intellectual early stimulation to him. He would spend hours reading book after book to you. He knew you were a born leader, could see your humor and inquisitive nature. He was impressed with how well you golfed and how hard you tried to keep up in basketball. He loved taking you to Tball and helping with your games. He was so proud of you-he knew you were smart, almost to the point that he knew you could see through his weaknesses..even when you were only four years of age. He loved you Davis-up until the day he died you were in his mind at the moment of his death.. You already know this. Another favorite hobby was to look at the stars, planets, milky way together.. He often said to you that he always wanted to catch Saturn would be mesmerized with astronomy. You enjoyed the sciences as much as he did.. I think on some level, he knew I would be OK having you-you stepped up as a four year old child into a position that no child should have to encounter.. You loved being a little man, you still do-He would be so proud of you now--Never forget he loved you,,, you will live a long and happy life, but you had a Daddy that loved you until the very end..





Will- You were born 21 months after your brother and you had a special place in your Daddy's heart from the very start. He was 21 months younger than his brother and could understand your position being the second born. He relished in your easy going personality, free spiritness and natural athletic ability. You were too little to play sports, but he loved that you truly loved being a little boy. He would read and watch Cars and Thomas the Train with you.. They were your favorite videos and toys when you were 2 and 3. He loved looking and looking for the perfect little toy for you, because he was fascinated by how you would play for hours with one little thing. He thought you were the cutest most naturally gifted child, who was totally innocent with his abilities.. He usually had you and Davis both-because Davis insisted on it, but enjoyed spending quality time one on one with you. You looked at both Davis and your Daddy as role models due to your small age and to this day you still look up to Davis as a surrogate Daddy. The last thing your Daddy bought before he left the house the day he died was a Cars bike helmet and knee pads. You had just turned 3 and now are almost six and still where the helmet. He always wanted to buy something of high quality but something that would last for a long long time. He also bought you a Thomas train named Ben-- a little yellow train to add to your collection. He knew he was going to die- and wanted you to remember how much he loved you..





Sophia "Sia"--Oh little girl..you are truly a survivor...your Daddy had become very ill by the time you were born...I often think he held on to see you born. You came into a crazy world at home during that time., and being in typical Sia style chose to ignore it and sleep most of the time. I will tell you that you are our only baby who your Daddy wanted to sit in the nursery at the hospital and rock you. He was so proud of you and thought you were so beautiful. He would place you in the nursery and stand outside the window and watch people go by and commenet on how happy they would be seeing you. He said he knew you had a natural gift to make other people happy and smile. He was so right, to this day you bring joy to all of those who see you and come in contact with you. You were my "shield" the first year after your Daddy died,. I think on some level he knew that you would also make the family complete--The boys doted on you and it helped with their acute type of grief that first year. I love you and your brothers more than words can express... You just need to know that each of you were loved by your father, even in his last dieing breath. I would not write this if I didn't believe it... It's probably why my grief was complicated, postponed and tough--I see with clarity now things I could not see before.