Widow's Bucket List

I believe anytime in life one has a major transformation, whether that be divorce, jobs, death, health issues- we re-evaluate and take stock of our life and how we want to rebuild that life that is now very different than the one we once envisioned..When I became a widow at 36, a few months into my journey I created my own Widow Bucket List..things I wanted to get done and accomplished on my own. Some things I just wanted to experience and learn from... Most of my bucket listers I keep to myself, not something I want to share on a blog..However I had two very profound things make my bucket list this year.

The first was I had searched for years trying to make sense out of Ben's suicide..If someone would have asked me to walk that first year in the OutOfDarkness walk smoke probably would have come out of my ears. What I realized that the walk is about prevention and the disesase that my husband had and most importantly the awareness that it exists. To me, it's about the future...the next generations who survive after a suicide and giving them voice...Plans are underway for an AFSP chapter to be started this year in WV... it was well worth it.

My second bucket list was the getting the independence back that I could take my kiddos on a 10 hour vacation to the beach completely solo. I have traveled with friends and family. (or meeting family at destination to help out)--I knew my boys needed it just to be us..Loading, unloading, cooking, driving while caringfor two little kids is not for wimps. However, we had a great bonding time.... It's put in the bucket list, next beach trip will be with family and friends...I said I did it-so I did it.... Maybe skydiving is in the near future..