I felt nothing...

Yesterday was Father's Day, the dreaded day for widows of all ages around the country. I never paid much notice to it until you actually don't have one.. (in my case it's my kids that don't which directly affects me)-It was something I took for granted, gave my class act Dad a card and went about my everyday affairs. However, sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone and it's constantly reminded to you in commercials, stores, facebook, church services, school activities etc. Just making a point here.



So I go to what the good Mommy should do and take my kids to the cemetery to see their Dad. They released balloons and we placed our butterflies for our memorials. I felt for them, especially my oldest who said a special prayer to his Dad before releasing his butterfly. But I went through the motions... basically I felt nothing. No anger, no rage, no sadness directly for me, no nothing really. There was a time that the raw emotion would just bring me to my knees with complicated grief. Today...I felt nothing....In some cases that really isn't a bad feeling... It's fading and I am ok....